Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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