Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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