I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
