I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
