her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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