u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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