i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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