I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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