I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
