all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
