There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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