You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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