Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
All I want is dick and wine.
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