Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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