She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
as a side note pls kill me
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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