Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Less talking, more tequila
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
