South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
