If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
