i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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