How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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