i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
