I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
