he puts the penis in happiness.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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