So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I have feelings that need drinking.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
