I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
