I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
