You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Randomize