It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
