Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
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Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
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Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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