And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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