How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
