i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
