I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
