Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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