What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
