Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
