Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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