Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
