Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
My vagina is very pro this idea
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
