VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
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Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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