can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
