i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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