You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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