Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
