I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I can't turn off my feet"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
