her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
When did we convert life to cartoon?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
