She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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