First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
