So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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