oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
