She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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