I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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