Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
