ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You're earring is so big in my mouth
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
