Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
