On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
