After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
my shit smells like andre
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
