you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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