New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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