I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
