yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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