he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize