Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
