I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
do nipples grow back?
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